Needed

I'm not 100% sure, but pretty close to sure that staying home all night "looking for jobs" (aka sulking) would have been a pretty bad choice. But it was 100% what I wanted to do after leaving work. Alot of people heard the spilled beans about how A big chunk of Cat's internal computer help desk was supposed to be outsourced to India. Most people commenting on that article, and even the agent who leaked the story, have no idea how bad of a decision it was. It's not about off-shoring jobs. The reasons for the change were not what people think, and the benefits from doing so dwindled fast.

But the biggest reason the drama over 50 jobs being lost is overstated (great people who do alot of good work, COMPLETELY trained and directed by Caterpillar personnel and processes) is because it was just the tip of the iceberg. We found out today of much higher numbers of contract jobs being lost in the next month and I have been given several hints that my job is no exception.

I've tried to drop out of evening stuff at church before because I didn't feel good or was in a cruddy mood. It always seemed, later, like it would have been better to go. So, in an attempt to learn from those mistakes, I went to church, and even committed to stay through our extra long choir practice.

I get bored during the game time at AWANA because I can't participate as much in the types of games we play this year. Ya, I just whined about not being able to play the kids games...what an awesome leader am I. So it's great to get pulled for something else during that time. Baldy and I were asked to assist the girls shortly after game time started. We made the usual merciful room choices and I picked Mrs. Smith in the 4th grade room.

This time, I got Marilyn! Probably the coolest thing about deciding to go to church tonight was getting all the reminders about how much I have gained by growing and sharing real life with people at Bethany. Marilyn and her fam (below) were on our New York team in 2007. No blog for that one, sorry. Kendra (her Mom) is one of my biggest blog fans. Yo!








I didn't know Elisa at all, but her father was in the first discipleship group I was ever in and I got to know and learn alot from him over a couple of years.










No clue who this girl is or who she's related to, but she was very fun. So my best explanation of why the girls seem to work harder is because they diligently work during the entire handbook time, and generally act quite maturely. Okay, so that last girl did spaz out a bit. My guys, on the other hand, do most of their work throughout the week, and get done saying their verses in a flash. The rest of the time we just trade insults and get scolded by Mr. Barngrover for being too loud. They never listen to me when I tell them to get to work, because they know I don't care. How do they know I don't care. Probably because of things like this.

Tanner learned how to use my new phone while also helping me compare something...

Dr. Mark was the speaker for our older boys and girls council time. What could he possibly have been talking about which required the picture of a Hippo's rear end? A topic about the amazing creatures God created and spoke about in his word in the old testament, that's what!! Mark was on my first Mission trip with Bethany back in 2006 - Ecuador. Actually, my first day back in Peoria after that trip was my first day at work in the job I'm currently worried about.

During the second leg of the trip, our work was building a church in a small city. Hood engineers took care of the roof welding, and Mark was in charge of the new stairs and retaining wall. His handy work is what we're sitting in in the picture below. Mark is the furthest person on the right.

Tonight's choir practice was supposed to be long and frustrating...but not only did we get out at a decent time, we only sang most songs once. So we were able to enjoy the experience of hearing and singing this great music (Saturday Dec. 6 at Five Points in Washington) rather than repeating every four measures three times.

Somewhere around four years ago, I was told (very far in advance) that I was getting laid off. Everyone within two levels of me was very appropriate, friendly, open and intelligent about how they handled the situation. I spent some time on severance pay, and when I found a job in Bloomington (45 minutes away), spent another couple of months getting paid to do practically nothing. At the end of those two months, I wound up sitting just a few seats from the one I was laid off from, with the same team lead as before, getting paid alot more. No stress right? Hardly.

-I was getting laid off basically because of a fluke and Caterpillar's failed IT product, and couldn't really get mad at anybody at my company...but I did anyway.
-I didn't get the job at Boeing in St. Louis that was almost handed to me on a platter. Very frustrated.
-Had to commute to Bloomington on occasion in my new job, with the expectation that I would eventually have to every day. I was very worried about where I should live and where I would go to church.

Today, the economic situation seems much worse and it is even less likely that I will find a job. My current company is considering it's self lucky to find out when a job is lost before it happens, because many managers at Cat would prefer not to give notice unless a person's knowledge needs to be transferred before they leave. I won't lie, I'm REALLY frustrated and have very little hope. Not where I'm supposed to be. I do know where my heart should be, and will TRY my best to live it out. Then try some more. And hopefully, even more.

Are you trying to give God all the glory? Are you trying to offer Him the best of your life, rather than finding joy in it for yourself first? Is that really what you want? He certainly wants me to know that about myself today.